Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Conversations With My Family / Five Embarrassing Confessions

(For Jane..)

 Reminiscing between my 11 year old and 3 year old nieces: "Remember when Daddy got those crabs..?"

My mom's familiarity with major social networks:

"Are you on My Face?"

My sister and I discussing the recent increase in gang activity where she lives:

Me: "What is up with Langley and Abbotsford?"

Z: " Nickelback moved here."

My 3 year old niece assessing my T-shirt:

I: "You didn't make that shirt, did you?"

Me: "No. Why..do you like it?"

I: "Yeah."

Me: "Uhh, me too..?"

(..And after perusing her mother's bedroom, asked if my sister had "made" the carpet.)
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As penance for not writing for so long, I will now own up to five personal facts which range in varying degrees of mortification...

1) I used to think euthanasia was actually "Youth In Asia", which I took to be some young dance troupe from the far east, and could not understand why they were so controversial/constantly in the news.

2) I once stated that I had extensive "customer cervix experience" in a job interview (with a female interviewer, of course).

3) Though it seems to be a mandatory requirement of Canadian citizenship to hate Nickelback, I like approximately four of their songs, including the one playing while I write this.

4) Once while still inebriated at a friend's house, I woke in the middle of the night and unable to find the door to the hall leading to the washroom, tried to open a poster on her wall. When this failed to lead me to urinary salvation, I then proceeded to pee on her carpet and return to bed. In the morning, I remained silent as her dog, Honey, was blamed for the uncharacteristic "accident" (growling, knowing full-well that she had been framed). 
...Sorry, H.

5) I recently acquired a little girl-crush on TV's Rachael Ray which I do not care to analyze and am unable to explain.

It's good to be back.   ;)

4 comments:

Mrs. M said...

Yo Jo! Welcome back and omg funny!! Unfortunately I can relate to a couple of those what you didn't know about me-isms...and let me just say I'm not nearly as brave as you to voice them! You're awesome!

Peter said...

you like 4 fucking Nickelback songs?
That's inexcusable. I may never fantasize about you during playtime ever again.

Dennis said...

Welcome back. Too long.

Who is Nickelback?

Two Mittens said...

Is Honey a big dog...?

D thinks RR has gross boobs.
I was going to make a further comment about your rack, but I think I'll stop before this gets creepy...
=)

MISS YOU