Saturday, October 28, 2006

I still

...shriek with delight (and a little fear) whenever someone performs the simplest magic trick in front of me, which might explain my excitement over "The Prestige".

...refuse to ascend stairs ahead of my father, in case he grabs my ankle and/or calf or forms 'the claw' and attempts to attack me with it. No trust there whatsoever.

...think Robert Wagner has a dreamy voice.

...believe the Loch Ness Monster may have existed at some point in time (the geological shifts during the ice age make one pause).

...think of my dad every time I walk into a Canadian Tire and smell 'the Dad smell'.

...can't sleep when the closet door is open. watching Meryl Streep and Blythe Danner because they remind me of my mom.

...have to resist the strange urge to grab a dog's tongue sometimes because it looks like ham. (I showed much less restraint as a child)

...think my dad and Tom Hanks would be the best next-door neighbours you could ever have.

...think cats can also smell fear.

...believe the more lima beans you get in your Campbell's Vegetable Soup, the luckier you will be.

...can't believe I actually ate (and enjoyed) raw weiners at any point in my life.

...have an uncanny ability to cut myself on inanimate household objects like, aluminum foil, milk containers and Shredded Wheat. (most dangerous breakfast cereal ever)

...can't believe my mom told me that she was delighted at my birth to have a "tanned baby", which actually turned out to be jaundice.

...believe I may have very limited psychic abilities, which consist of guessing which elevator doors will open first and knowing the answers to most of the questions on "Rock 'N' Roll Jeopardy" before they are revealed.

...think sedation dentistry is right up there with spending quality time in the rat-filled face-cage from "1984".

...believe I saw a ghost in Oban, Scotland. (here's an idea: let's try putting up some lights around the haunted castles at night...)

...intend to track down and resurrect the Shreddies Troll (a goblin sticker from the movie, "Labyrinth", in a promotional box of Shreddies back in the 80s) and stick it on a mirror or the fridge at my unsuspecting sister's place and wait for retribution, just like old times.

No one said you had to grow up all at once.

Sunday, October 22, 2006

Lazy Sunday

I've been remiss in reviewing movies lately, mostly because I haven't been to many in the past few months, so I thought I'd catch you up with some badly written haikus...

Snakes On A Plane

Squirming, slithering
My feet didn't touch the floor
the entire time.

Little Miss Sunshine

Sweet little Olive,
Your dance number made us all
want to join in.

The Descent

Bloody, scary, bloody scary
I will never go spelunking
in this lifetime.

Talladega Nights

My brother and his wife
almost hyperventilated
with laughter.

Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them", but I think my family has somehow managed to do both for like, years now.

'Gobnet Brindle' is my new favourite spam-sender name.

Steven Colbert and Tina Fey need to colloborate, on anything.

Best new shows this fall: "Studio 60" (Chandler's got chops, compelling characters and sharp writing), "Heroes" (think "X-Men" meets "The Stand") and "The Nine" (think "Speed" in a bank, plus, I'd follow Tim Daly just about anywhere)

As a mere mortal, seeing that Hollywood actresses who have personal trainers, personal chefs and thousands of dollars to spend on esthetic procedures, can still have armpit fat above their $8000 designer dresses, is strangely comforting.

I am convinced that somewhere in a closet in the back of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, lies a bound and gagged Ray Liotta, while his wax double continues to appear on TV and film.

Mystery solved! Like many other girls of my acquaintance, I had a substantial crush on Andrew McCarthy after he played Blane in "Pretty In Pink". But was confused for years by the film's final prom scene where his hair appeared to be caught somewhere between a rat and a rainstorm. This made no sense to my besotted 16 year old brain, until I recently read that he had shaved his head for another film role and was forced to wear a wig in the rewritten final scene. 20 years that's been bugging me, people. You're welcome.

Dwight Quote-of-the-Week: "Krentist."
(Dwight's response to Michael's interrogation about the name of Dwight's bogus dentist on "The Office")

I am afraid of sharks. This is not new information. But like many people, I am fascinated by what scares me (horror films, anyone?) and consequently know more about them than any other animal. I recently read a great article by Rob Stewart, the filmmaker behind "Sharkwater", (which I unfortunately missed at this year's film festival) and wanted to share some excerpts:

"Sharks are the oldest large animal we have on the planet. They've existed in harmony with the earth for over 400 million years, shaping species that they prey upon, and in turn much of the oceans. The oceans produce 70 percent of the oxygen in our atmosphere, and destroying the one animal that's managed to survive on earth, in an age where our own longevity on earth is in question, is not a good idea. We can learn a lot from sharks, but we ignore them because we're afraid of them.

One hundred million sharks are caught each year, mostly due to the growing demand for shark fin soup. Poachers cut off the fins and dump the bodies overboard still alive. Though many countries have banned shark finning, millions of sharks are illegally harvested each year.

They're not dangerous. They're not mindless killers. They don't eat people and I think as long as people view them as dangerous predators, people aren't going to care about them. They're not going to want them to survive on the planet.
I hope that it starts reversing the way the media has portrayed sharks and gives people the infomration they need to make better decisions to say "Okay, I'm not going to be afraid of that," or "I'm not going to listen to this headline." In order for humans to survive on this planet, to have such an irrational fear of sharks is not a good thing.
The other thing is that we've been on this thousand-year trend of destruction. It hasn't been cool to conserve or promote sustainable use of the environment and the oceans. But I think people are going to start realizing that if we're going to survive on this plant as a species, we need to conserve it and protect it. Conservation is becoming cool." (fr. Tribute magazine)

Watch for "Sharkwater" on DVD and another great book on this topic is "Shark Trouble" by Peter Benchley (author of Jaws).

Does this make me a seahugger...?

Saturday, October 07, 2006

Turkey Day

I am thankful for many things. For the lemon-lime leaves dancing in the sunshine and wind outside my window right now, the fact that I'm listening to old mixed tapes that my sister loves to mock, on a borrowed boombox from my lovely BFF, and BSG is back. Am I a nerd? Yes. But I embrace it...and it may come in handy on stage sometime. I have a new job which is a 15 minute walk from my place and I'm taking a self-defense class, for which I need suckers, er, helpers, to practice on, if anyone's overconfident, er, interested. I have wonderful friends, 4 beautiful, inquisitive, sharp-as-a-whip nieces who make me very proud, an adorably mischievious sister-in-law, dryly clever brother, and a sister who always makes me laugh, reminiscing about the questionable games we played with our housepets as children. I am blessed with a father who respects my independence but still has my back when I need him and a mother who amuses me with her eternal stubborness and inspires me with her courage. I am happy to sometimes be wrong about people and what I perceive as my own weaknesses and to discover that I can still surprise myself.

Right now, in this moment, I am indeed a charmed being.

Thursday, October 05, 2006

Tree Looks Like A Lady

"Lots of people say that they fall in love in the spring. Not me. I always fell in love in the autumn.It is just the most romantic... sexy... desperate [time]..." (- Space Above and Beyond)

I love autumn. I'm sure there are people in the world who do not have an affinity for the season into which they were born, but I'm not one of them. Summer is easy to love and winter easy to hate, but spring and autumn...that's when all the interesting stuff happens. When I was little my mom told me that the leaves changing colour was Mother Nature "changing her dress". That's quite the wardrobe you've got there, lady.

Here, I made a haiku about it:

Mother of Nature,
you make dying foliage
so very chic

School has begun again, Halloween is around the corner, and there's a distinctive crispness to the air that I love. And this is, hands down, the best season for fashion. Change is in the air, and possibilities...for learning new things, taking new chances, and coming up with a truly original Halloween costume. And though Calgary's autumn is brief and mostly shades of yellow, I'll take whatever I can get.

But I still miss red.