Interviews With People Who've Never Been In My Kitchen: Maury Sterling (Part 1)

YJ: I’m here with Dame Judi Dench…
MS: {laughing}
YJ: Actually, Maury Sterling. Actor. Thespian, if you will. What are you working on now, Maury? Little independent film?
MS: Small, independent movie called, The A-Team, based on a little-known TV show from the 1980s.
YJ: I think I’ve heard of it.
MS: {chuckling} Yeah, a coupla people have seen it. It was big.
YJ: Wasn’t there a guy from Battlestar Galactica in it or something?
MS: Yeah, Dirk Benedict. I got to meet him. It was rad.
YJ: He’s in the new one?
MS: Yeah, ooh, I don’t know if I’m supposed to say that. Off the record!
YJ: It’s on IMDB. [Editor's note: Check out Maury's page on imdb.com; it reads like Santa's naughty list...]
MS: It is?
YJ: Yep.
MS: Yeah, he’s in it.
YJ: And so is the original Murdock, I believe: Dwight Schultz?
MS: Dwight Shultz. He was there. I met him, too.
YJ: And how was that, ‘cause you were pretty excited about watching The A-Team as a kid, right?
MS: I was pretty geeked out. I was pretty excited. It was really cool to meet Dwight Schultz; they were childhood heroes.
YJ: And Dirk Benedict?
MS: It was very cool to meet Dirk. He spends time in Montana; I like to go to Montana.
YJ: Any residual anger about Starbuck being a girl in the new Battlestar Galactica series?
MS: Oh God, I didn’t ask him…
YJ: {laughing} Don’t. Don’t bring that up.
MS: {laughing} I don’t think that…I think it would be a very touchy subject.
YJ: He might be okay now. Is it true what they say about working with dogs and kids?
MS: Yes.
YJ: How so?
MS: The truism...is that a word, truism? It is a word. My father would be so unhappy…
Um, that they steal focus? Yeah, I remember when I did Beverly Hills Chihuahua; my friends were all excited because I was number five on the call sheet. They were all stoked, like, “Dude, this is big for you, this is really great.” And I’m like, yeah, there’s like, 20 dogs before they start counting humans, soo…
YJ: {laughing}
MS: Some of them are very touchy. You have to work with them in just the right way. Like, one of the dogs, I couldn’t like right in the eye or he’d get spooked. This dog, if you looked him in the eye, or spoke to him, he would get nervous.
YJ: So only the trainers could address him?
MS: Only the trainers could address him. And it’s pretty hard when... It’s the part where the Chihuahua jumps on my nose, so it’s kinda hard not to look him in the eye. And he got spooked. {laughing} Yeah, it was bad. It was really funny. It’s like, I didn’t realize you were so delicate.
YJ: Were you scared by El Diablo [Doberman villain of the film] at all?
MS: No, El Diablo was awesome. He was the most, sort of rough-and-tumble dog of the dogs. I think his name was Ajax...he was cool.
YJ: {laughing} Seems less tough now.
MS: Yeah, I know. Ajax? It’s a tough name, c’mon.
YJ: So, you played a character named Rafferty and you were involved in the kidnapping of said Beverly Hills Chihuahua?
MS: Yes, I stole the Chihuahua.
YJ: My niece, Indiana, who’s 3, wanted me to ask you…
MS: Right…
YJ: How do you sleep at night?
MS: {chuckles} I’ve met some children since and this is a dangerous conver… Yeah, it upsets them. It’s tough, they can’t separate… So, yeah, they would give me this look, like, “You horrible, horrible, horrible man.”
YJ: She was not impressed that we were friends.
MS: No, that’s not a claim to fame. It’s not cool. “You stole the Chihuahua…WHY?”
YJ: So, for the record, kids: NOT REAL.
MS: Not real. I like dogs very much. I was very nice to the Chihuahuas when we weren’t working.
YJ: Now, another role that people will remember you for is Lester Tremor. Lester Tremor was one of the three…well, you tell them.
MS: Lester Tremor was the middle brother of the three Tremor brothers who were in the original Smokin’ Aces…a bunch of whacked-out, hillbilly, methamphetamine, crazy weirdoes.
YJ: So, how do you get inside the head of someone like Lester Tremor?
MS: {laughing} My mother will forever be upset...and proud. It was actually really fun and it’s a terrible thing to say. It helped a lot with wardrobe and make-up and cutting one’s hair. I shaved my head and shaved my eyebrows, and that helps a lot; just when you look in the mirror and you look so freaky. It’s surprising how that can open up a lot of doorways because you just start thinking, who would do this and feel comfortable…“Yeah, I’m gonna go outside lookin’ like this today. Sure, I look grreat.”
But the three of us worked a lot together, seeing how we’d feel...
YJ: You bonded with your brothers, played by Kevin Durand, who’s Canadian...
MS: Mm-hm. Thunder Bay.
YJ: Chris Pine, who was in a little film called Star Trek…
MS: I’ve heard of that one.
YJ: Yep, didn’t do very well at the box office.
MS: I don’t think so; I think it’s really struggling.
{both laughing}
YJ: I hope he makes it.
MS: He might. We’re worried. Yes, the two of them. We spent a lot of time together. We were shooting in South Lake Tahoe, and we decided we’d go out to dinner in our full regalia. We found the fanciest restaurant we could find…and we had the Mohawks and the shaved head and the straggly…We just looked awful and we tried to look as bad as we possibly could. All of our tattoos were on fresh , and long story short; by the end of the night we had a table of older women, probably in their mid-sixties, coming up, going, {in little old lady voice} ” Oh, so uh, what are you guys doing…are you in a band? Oh, they’re so cute.” And the maitre de was inviting us out the next day for lunch. We’re like, “No! We’re scary.”
YJ: {laughing} We’re assassins!
MS: Yeah, we’re dangerous. We’re freaky. But we did some other stuff, sort of, role-playing out at night, which was creepy and fun, too, to get in the mood.
YJ: Are villains more fun to play than good guys?
MS: It is fun. It’s so not who I am. There’s more wiggle-room, it’s a different world to inhabit. We got serious about it; we’d talk about the Tremor brothers and what would be their mindset? ..To actually feel purpose behind being highly freaked-out killers, basically, and believing that they were serving a function and having a belief system that they really were behind. That’s where it gets spooky: where you just take off the normal roles that we all try to agree on or have some relationship to, and go, yeah, these don’t exist. Total sociopaths. Different rules, completely different rules.
YJ: They were pretty loyal to each other though, weren’t they?
MS: Totally loyal to each other. We were brothers, we were family, we loved each other, looked out for each other. [They] believed in almost a spiritual purpose in their work, helping clean the world. And [they were] professionals; if you give them a job, they’re gonna get it done and it’s probably not in your best interest to be in the way when they’re getting it done. There’s purpose behind it…and that is where it gets a little strange.
YJ: So, you finished the prequel [Smokin’ Aces 2: Assassins’ Ball], tell me about that. You had different brothers and a sister?
MS: I had a sister, a father and a new brother, which was fun, to sort of expand the family. Whole bunch of different types. We had a good time, yeah.
YJ: Tell me about training/shooting stuff; I hear boys like to shoot stuff.
MS: Boys do like to shoot stuff. I know some girls who like to shoot stuff, too. It’s fun. Good to know how to use a gun. It’s fun; it’s exhilarating.
YJ: I just saw the trailer and it looked like you had a lot of fun. Do they train you to...?
MS: Rob Fournier and his partners, Lem and Craig, were the armorers on that and they’re very, very, very safety-conscious, to the smallest detail: how you pass the gun back and forth between you and them, making sure everything’s checked, making sure everything’s safe. The entire crew is covered in plexiglass covering and goggles and earmuffs and soundproofing. It’s a big deal when weapons are on set, just because of any kind of freak accident.
YJ: Like, Brandon Lee?
MS: Like, Brandon Lee. So, it makes sense.
YJ: Now, you’ve worked in television and film. Some of my favourite TV shows, actually…Angel, Six Feet Under, Deadwood. Do you have a preference and how are they different?
MS: That’s one I struggle with all the time. I think I prefer film; I like locations. It’s really different per project. I think it has a lot to do with the people, a lot to do with the writing, and a lot to do with the other creative energies around you. I’ve really been enjoying doing film; I think that’s what I’d like to continue doing. But the TV…I feel fortunate…I mean, I had a blast doing Angel, working with Joss [Whedon] and that whole world…
YJ: He’s amazing.
MS: You get to step into that world, and that’s what I mean by the people and the writing. When you get to dance with certain elements, that’s what’s fun. A lot of the TV stuff I’ve done is guest-star stuff and it’s interesting because, a lot of the time, you’re coming in to be the person whose wife just died and you’re being framed for murder. They often tend to be intense kind of roles which you have to shoot out very quickly. It’s an interesting kind of demand; you have to get out a lot of information, because the series regulars have to bounce off what you provide. So it’s an interesting kind of dynamic to have to play with, and you wanna give your best performance, as well.
YJ: Television’s obviously changed a lot. It’s not just cable anymore, there’s Showtime and HBO, which are putting out some pretty amazing shows. When you have time, are there any shows you…?
MS: Big fan of The Wire, I think Dexter’s great…Breaking Bad is great…Modern Family… I’m actually trying to research a little more TV. 30 Rock is a show I’ve not been watching and would really like to.
YJ: Dexter’s good. The assassin in you is probably relating to him.
MS: Yes.
YJ: It’s kind of scary how relatable that character is…
MS: He’s great. There’s relatability about it; he’s struggling with relationships. He’s just contextually more extreme.
YJ: But he always had to hide the fact that he’s…
MS: Right. But plenty of people are hiding stuff…
YJ: {laughing} That they’re sociopaths?
MS: {smiling} That they’re sociopaths…I mean, what’s the big deal?
YJ: Do you think because you’re used to playing characters, it would be more challenging to try to be closer to who you are?
MS: Mm-hm. You can’t hide, in a way. I mean, you always wanna be honest in what you’re doing and have it be believable. It’s vulnerable, you know. There’s no angle that’s protecting you.
YJ: Wow. ..I feel like I’m in Acting 101.
MS: {chuckling} I’m in Acting 101.
YJ: No, you’re not. You’ve been in a ton of stuff…
MS: I’ve been in a ton of stuff, but I really am still learning. The best thing, for me, is when you have an expectation of how you’ve plotted it out and you sort of set a goal for the scene, and then you end up surprising yourself. Something happens that you did not see coming. ..And those are the best moments, because then you really know you are being honest. Something just happened and you had the courage or the wherewithal or the freedom or the preparation…that you just kinda go with it and that’s when it really gets neat. Because now, you know you’re not controlling. ..You know for a second, you were there.
YJ: ..And it’s recorded. That’s the great thing about film – when you do something that you’re proud of, right? That’s the closest we can come to being immortalized. [Editor's note: besides, vampirism]
MS: Right. And that’s my goal in life.
YJ: To be immortalized?
MS: Immortality.
YJ: I thought you wanted to live with Amazons…
MS: {laughing} That was before the interview started. That was off-the-record.
YJ: {laughing} Off-the-record!
MS: OTR!
YJ: Anything you’re looking forward to, film-wise, that’s coming out?
MS: I’m curious to see how the prequel turns out. I’ll be really excited to see The A-Team when it’s all put together, just because-- Oh. You mean, stuff I’m doing, ’cause I’m totally self-referential, or like, other..?
YJ: {laughing}
MS: Hi. Ask an actor a question. Oh, you mean about me? Well, I’ll tell ya about me…
I’m excited to see Avatar. I wanna see The Road. The [last] movie I loved seeing was This Is It – the Michael Jackson movie. I didn’t really wanna see it [at the time], but it was amazing. Amazing. I think anybody’s who’s an artist or who aspires to be an artist should see it. Because watching a man of his control and authority and talent at work was just incredible. He knows his own work so incredibly well. It was really inspiring.
YJ: Is there anyone you’ve met where you’ve been surprised by just how normal and down to earth they were?
MS: No. No one. They’re all whack jobs. All the things the public thinks about them are true. Jessica Biel has been a total treat to work with…Bradley Cooper…This whole set on The A-Team has been fantastic. I haven’t worked with a lot of jerks, actually. [Working on] this movie’s the first time working with some big names, where I could really see, without going into too much detail… I could be on set one day, go home and see something in the tabloids, and see how they were completely not correct. It was really amazing. I think I’ve been a sucker for the tabloids. One tiny picture that the press gets a hold of and they can manipulate it. This was the first time where I went, wow, just not true. ..And here’s the cover of US magazine.
YJ: That must be a nice perspective.
MS: It was really striking. It caught me, because I have my own judgments. I fall for stuff, I fall for press. And then you realize: you’ve got no idea.
YJ: Tell me about your character in The A-Team.
MS: I play a guy named Gammons, who’s partnered up with a guy named Ravech (played by Canadian actor, Terry Chen). We’re basically Jessica Biel’s bitches. Where she goes, we go. We’re her security detail; we work for the Department of Defense. She’s a Department of Defense agent. We’re chasing down the A-Team. We’re usually about one step behind where they are. It’s been fun to do.
YJ: So, Gammons is a good guy, then?
MS: Yeah, closer to good this time. I’m the law.
YJ: Wow.
MS: I know. Big change.
YJ: So, no pup-napping…
MS: No pup-napping, no sociopathic murder-frenzy…
YJ: No assassinations…
MS: No demon tendencies, no psycho-killer stuff… Yeah, it’s great. This is good. This is progress. This is a huuuge step in my career.
{both laughing}

stay tuned for Part 2... (it's shorter and just as unboring)  ;)

Noggin'

(Now, if you're lactose-intolerant, this may not be the game for you...)

Grab some eggnog (with a little extra "kick", if that's your pleasure) and take a swig for each time you've done the following this holiday season:

• made direct eye-contact/shared a smile with a Santa (this includes the mall variety as well as bearded guys on the street wearing Santa hats)
• got a little excited when you saw the blue flannel-sleeved arm of the guy who turns the logs on the "Holiday Fireplace" channel on TV
• performed a random act of kindness and didn't tell anyone about it
• were lucky enough to be in the presence of a child who still believes in Santa Claus
• have a friend or relative named Noel/Noelle
• caught snowflakes with your tongue
• made a snow angel
• are wearing Christmas socks right now
• have reached a point in your life where giving gifts is just as good, if not better than, receiving them
• have worn/are wearing one (or all) of the following: fake reindeer antlers, a Santa hat, bells
• secretly shook one of your Christmas presents like an 8 year old
• have put any of the following on a household pet and taken a picture of it: fake reindeer antlers, Santa hat, harness-with-bells, tinsel
• have sincerely apologized to said pet for the aforementioned photo shoot
• secretly think the people in the really nice neighbourhoods who didn't put lights up, suck..(just a little)
• wish that "peace on earth" included no mention of: Tiger Woods, the Gosselins, or Brangelina again, until, like, March
• are secretly jealous of your Jewish friends, because they get gifts, like, every freakin' day during Hanukkah
• have gone/are going to see a movie on Christmas Day (Sherlock Holmes - woot, woot!)
• feel just a little more Christmas-y (..and/or drunk) after reading this

Happy Holidays, Loved Ones. 

Conversations With My Family / Five Embarrassing Confessions

(For Jane..)

 Reminiscing between my 11 year old and 3 year old nieces: "Remember when Daddy got those crabs..?"

My mom's familiarity with major social networks:

"Are you on My Face?"

My sister and I discussing the recent increase in gang activity where she lives:

Me: "What is up with Langley and Abbotsford?"

Z: " Nickelback moved here."

My 3 year old niece assessing my T-shirt:

I: "You didn't make that shirt, did you?"

Me: "No. Why..do you like it?"

I: "Yeah."

Me: "Uhh, me too..?"

(..And after perusing her mother's bedroom, asked if my sister had "made" the carpet.)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
As penance for not writing for so long, I will now own up to five personal facts which range in varying degrees of mortification...

1) I used to think euthanasia was actually "Youth In Asia", which I took to be some young dance troupe from the far east, and could not understand why they were so controversial/constantly in the news.

2) I once stated that I had extensive "customer cervix experience" in a job interview (with a female interviewer, of course).

3) Though it seems to be a mandatory requirement of Canadian citizenship to hate Nickelback, I like approximately four of their songs, including the one playing while I write this.

4) Once while still inebriated at a friend's house, I woke in the middle of the night and unable to find the door to the hall leading to the washroom, tried to open a poster on her wall. When this failed to lead me to urinary salvation, I then proceeded to pee on her carpet and return to bed. In the morning, I remained silent as her dog, Honey, was blamed for the uncharacteristic "accident" (growling, knowing full-well that she had been framed). 
...Sorry, H.

5) I recently acquired a little girl-crush on TV's Rachael Ray which I do not care to analyze and am unable to explain.

It's good to be back.   ;)

Faster Than A Silver Bullet..

I've been thinking about vampires and werewolves lately. You know, more than usual. I have The Historian on hold at the library (in BC you don't have to pay for library cards - very cool). Perhaps it will inspire me. I feel like I need to write about them..

In other news, I'm a BC girl again since May of last year. And while I miss my Calgary friends, frequent sunny periods, no provincial sales tax, and was not missing rats or spiders in the least, I believe it to be a fair trade. Cheap (yummy) sushi, stunningly beautiful scenery and living by the water really ease the pain, I find. Oh and there's some really big Greek festival called "The Olympics" coming to town, too. I hope they serve dolmades. I love those things.

I can't stop listening to "Kim and Jessie" by M83. It's like Icehouse and a John Hughes soundtrack had a baby and let me hold it.

My new job is selling hats at a funky, popular hat store with some very cool cats on Granville Island. That's right. I work under a bridge. Like a troll. But it looks like this, so keep the goat jokes to yourself, sucka.

And I haven't even told you about Belinda the puppet's adventures yet..or Weird Bike Guy. As they used to say on "Hammy Hamster" (thereby taunting my sister and I through several years of childhood): "But that's another story.."

Stay tuned.

More Than Meets The Eye...

3 Things You Need To Look Up On YouTube Today:
secret code words: Falcor urinator, Kassie monster ass, Chad Vader

Falcor - ridiculous, yes...but hey, you've just learned 2 new verbs
Kassie - sure, she's 3 and it's a cuss word, but she has a valid point
Chad - where is season 2??

People Who Should Make Babies Together:

Nicole Kidman & Keith Urban - tall, gifted babies with amazing hair, who know how to throw that shrimp on the barbe

Bumblebee & a blue Jeep Liberty - cutest Matchbox car EVER!

Cameron Diaz & Criss Angel - because a leggy, spazzy baby who levitates would be pretty funny

Shakira & Enrique Iglesias - can you say, "Latin Super Race???" Seriously, just think about it.

People/Things Who Should Never Make Babies Together:

Megatron & My Sister's TV - because I don't think the ticker could handle the 40" screen transforming into an evil robot right in the middle of "General Hospital"

Carrot-Top and Conan O' Brien - even if it was physically possible, do YOU want tall, manic ginger babies taking over the earth? Didn't think so.

Gollum & That Super-Creepy Well-Girl From "The Ring" - *shudder*...*getting up to turn on every light in the house*

Random Thoughts:

I think my love affair with Facebook has cooled down a bit. At first, we were calling each other 10 times a day, but now we're just sharing the Sunday paper and maybe going antique shopping, later.

The astuteness of my 9 year-old niece, when I explained that a guilty pleasure is something you like that you're embarrassed about and she instantly replied, "You mean, how you like "High School Musical?" Yahtzee!

How endearing it is when my sister wakes me up in the morning to ask me something vital, like, what Sonny Crockett's partner, Tubb's first name was, again. Because hey, that "Miami Vice" trivia is crucial.

Movies For The Geek In You (Or Me): (trucks and robots and wizards, oh my!)

Transformers - I was not a die-hard fan of these robots as a kid...I didn't know all of their names and 'specialties', but this is still the most fun I've had at the movies in a while. The CGI was flawless, Shia LaBeouf was great (really enjoying him, lately), the robots had some killer lines, and it just seemed like it was such a blast to make. I love it when that comes across on the screen. I may have also clapped at the end of the film. Possibly. (...and may have also joined in when several others clapped at my second viewing of said film) And since both of my grandfathers have passed on, I'm wondering if there's some kind of human-robot Big Brother program that would allow me to adopt Optimus Prime as a wise and noble grandparent. I think I could learn a lot from him... *****

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - This kid can't catch a break, really...and in this one, it's starting to show. Darker and more introspective than its predecessors, this 5th installment in the magical Harry Potter series felt a bit more rushed to me (though the film was by no means, short). I could feel the sense of urgency enveloping Harry and his friends, as they learned to arm themselves against the encroaching dark forces around them. The casting is always stellar, most notably the church-lady evil of Imelda Staunton's Dolores Umbridge and the delightful spacey- sweetness of newcomer Evanna Lynch's Luna Lovegood. And I adored Gary Oldman in every scene he was in. My only complaint is that there wasn't a lot of auror-action, particularly Tonks, whom I loved in the books. Still, a thrilling, magical ride worth taking. ****

All Mediocre Things Come In Three...

I know. It's been a long time since you read some good(?) movie reviews in haiku form. Never fear, they're baaaaaaack.

Lots of sequels this summer, and as you know, not all 3's are bad (see "Return of the Jedi" and "Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban", to name a couple), but some are not as spectacular as their predecessors. Cases in point...

"Spider-Man 3"
Venom scared me more
In the comic book stories
Spidey 2 was better
***1/2

"Shrek 3"
This franchise is
Done like dinner
Eat me, Gingey
***

"Pirates of the Caribbean 3: At World's End"*
Ho ho ho and a
Bottle of dumb
(But we still love Jack)
***1/2

*co-reviewed by Rylee C. Woods, age (almost) 9

I am looking forward to "Transformers" (as long as the bad robots aren't too scary) and am practically chomping at the bit for "Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix".

Rylee and I are, as always, more than meets the eye.

Eat your watermelon, kids!

Conversations with My Sister (I)

Y: "I fainted in the video store."

Z: "Which section were you in?"

Y: {pause} I wasn't behind the saloon doors if that's what you're getting at."

Z: "Well, were you in New Releases or...?"

Y: "What difference does it make?? I fainted. In public. I've never done that before!"

Celebrity Crush

The thing about celebrity crushes is, once I find out they're married I can't fantasize about them anymore. I had a brief, but intense fascination with Antonio Banderas back in the day, until I heard he was hitched (pre-Melanie). I just couldn't do it anymore. Just felt wrong. Like when you see a really cute kid and think, "Man, is he gonna' be a hottie when he gets older." Technically, you haven't done anything wrong, but the exit leading to Creepy is just a few miles away.

2007 (almost The Future!)

So it's 2007 and I have A NUB. Since I got my head shaved over 8 months ago, I've been massaging my scalp, using special shampoo, and taking Vitamin E like it's going out of style. And my reward is a rather straggly, bobby-pinned tuft of hair that looks like it really wants to be a pig-tail when it grows up. But it's there and I'm starting to look like myself again. And as my friend A so perfectly put it today, "Unless you've been a girl with really short hair, you will never know what a great achievement the nub is." My mom will be so relieved, er, proud.

In other news, we're 3 years from The Future. Remember when you'd see a show or read a passage from a book that referred to something catastrophic happening "...in the future...year 2010." I'm a little spooked, personally and I think you should be, too. You can laugh it up, but when artificial intelligence starts infiltrating our society and governments are crumbling...oh, wait...

Happy New Year!...(future slaves of robots)

Abracadabra!

Now for some stuff you may not care about, but which I feel the compelling need to share with you, anyway...

Sequels to both "Constantine" and "Inside Man" are in the works... Josh Holloway ('Sawyer' from TV's "Lost") is rumoured to be the chosen actor to play 'Gambit' in the next X-Men movie (hel-lo, dream casting!!!)... Steven Spielberg's favourite TV show is "Heroes" (it's possible that he read my blog and decided to check it out - you're welcome, Steve) ... and the moment you've all been waiting for since ohh, 1987... there's going to be a movie based on "Fraggle Rock"... I will leave you all to your celebratory Doozer-dancing for a moment...

(thank you, rogersvideo.ca for these vital updates)

There are many good movies, but only a few great ones. I have for you, a pair of each:

(Grrrrrreat) - "The Prestige" - this is the second collaboration between Christopher Nolan ("Memento" and "Batman Begins") and Christian Bale and the boys have once again proven trustworthy. A tale of feuding magicians, played by Bale and Hugh Jackman, it's engrossing, mysterious and thought-provoking. My friend and I had fun unraveling the puzzles at the end, on the drive home. In short, great mysteries on film have been noticeably absent in recent years, so this is a smart, shadowy, pleasant surprise.
****

(Good) - "Stranger Than Fiction" - a good film with great performances, especially from Dustin Hoffman, Emma Thompson (always effortless and a joy to watch) and the most wonderful, Maggie Gyllenhaal. Proving once again that she's so much more than just Jake's older sister, Ms. G steals every scene she's in. From "Secretary" to "World Trade Center", she continually impresses with her range and well, moxie. Girl's got spunk. That's all you need to know.
*** (but Maggie gets ****)

(Good) - "Deja Vu" - I trust Denzel Washington. Whether he's saving Dakota Fanning from kidnappers, protecting Julia Roberts from imminent danger, or bravely fighting unjust imprisonment, I know he will do THE RIGHT THING. It's in his eyes. Not because he's tall and handsome and could probably bench-press me, but because there's just something about this guy that says, "Don't worry - I won't let anything happen to you", and I believe him. So, when he's determined to get to the bottom of a horrible ferryboat explosion that took hundreds of innocent lives, I'm with him. It's also fun to see Jim Caviezel ("The Passion of the Christ") play a villain, because it allows me to turn to my friend in mock horror halfway through the film and ask, "Why is Jesus trying to shoot Denzel??"
***

(Great!) - "Casino Royale" - when Daniel Craig was chosen to be the next James Bond, many were disbelieving, if not outright opposed to the idea, not unlike the reaction to a little-known actor from down under, chosen to play Wolverine in "X-Men". Hugh Jackman's career turned out okay, don't you think? I for one, was delighted. Craig is quiet, intense and oh-so-skilled, and while the piercing blue eyes and cut physique don't hurt, his greatest feat in the film is bringing humanity to 007. While most of us are familiar with the car chases, disposable hotties and countless gadgets associated with Mr. Bond, we know little of his origins as a spy and this helps to fill in some gaps. Eva Green is sassy and lovely and Judi Dench as 'M', is her incomparable, tough-yet-classy self. This is gritty, dirty, real-man Bond action, with tailored suits and gorgeous locales. Note to self: move to Spain, learn to play poker and buy a red dress. Plus, I love watching the guy run. Straight Flush.
****

I still

...shriek with delight (and a little fear) whenever someone performs the simplest magic trick in front of me, which might explain my excitement over "The Prestige".

...refuse to ascend stairs ahead of my father, in case he grabs my ankle and/or calf or forms 'the claw' and attempts to attack me with it. No trust there whatsoever.

...think Robert Wagner has a dreamy voice.

...believe the Loch Ness Monster may have existed at some point in time (the geological shifts during the ice age make one pause).

...think of my dad every time I walk into a Canadian Tire and smell 'the Dad smell'.

...can't sleep when the closet door is open.

...love watching Meryl Streep and Blythe Danner because they remind me of my mom.

...have to resist the strange urge to grab a dog's tongue sometimes because it looks like ham. (I showed much less restraint as a child)

...think my dad and Tom Hanks would be the best next-door neighbours you could ever have.

...think cats can also smell fear.

...believe the more lima beans you get in your Campbell's Vegetable Soup, the luckier you will be.

...can't believe I actually ate (and enjoyed) raw weiners at any point in my life.

...have an uncanny ability to cut myself on inanimate household objects like, aluminum foil, milk containers and Shredded Wheat. (most dangerous breakfast cereal ever)

...can't believe my mom told me that she was delighted at my birth to have a "tanned baby", which actually turned out to be jaundice.

...believe I may have very limited psychic abilities, which consist of guessing which elevator doors will open first and knowing the answers to most of the questions on "Rock 'N' Roll Jeopardy" before they are revealed.

...think sedation dentistry is right up there with spending quality time in the rat-filled face-cage from "1984".

...believe I saw a ghost in Oban, Scotland. (here's an idea: let's try putting up some lights around the haunted castles at night...)

...intend to track down and resurrect the Shreddies Troll (a goblin sticker from the movie, "Labyrinth", in a promotional box of Shreddies back in the 80s) and stick it on a mirror or the fridge at my unsuspecting sister's place and wait for retribution, just like old times.

No one said you had to grow up all at once.

Lazy Sunday

I've been remiss in reviewing movies lately, mostly because I haven't been to many in the past few months, so I thought I'd catch you up with some badly written haikus...

Snakes On A Plane

Squirming, slithering
My feet didn't touch the floor
the entire time.
***

Little Miss Sunshine

Sweet little Olive,
Your dance number made us all
want to join in.
****1/2

The Descent

Bloody, scary, bloody scary
I will never go spelunking
in this lifetime.
****

Talladega Nights

My brother and his wife
almost hyperventilated
with laughter.
***

Mother Teresa said, "If you judge people, you have no time to love them", but I think my family has somehow managed to do both for like, years now.

'Gobnet Brindle' is my new favourite spam-sender name.

Steven Colbert and Tina Fey need to colloborate, on anything.

Best new shows this fall: "Studio 60" (Chandler's got chops, compelling characters and sharp writing), "Heroes" (think "X-Men" meets "The Stand") and "The Nine" (think "Speed" in a bank, plus, I'd follow Tim Daly just about anywhere)

As a mere mortal, seeing that Hollywood actresses who have personal trainers, personal chefs and thousands of dollars to spend on esthetic procedures, can still have armpit fat above their $8000 designer dresses, is strangely comforting.

I am convinced that somewhere in a closet in the back of Madame Tussaud's Wax Museum, lies a bound and gagged Ray Liotta, while his wax double continues to appear on TV and film.

Mystery solved! Like many other girls of my acquaintance, I had a substantial crush on Andrew McCarthy after he played Blane in "Pretty In Pink". But was confused for years by the film's final prom scene where his hair appeared to be caught somewhere between a rat and a rainstorm. This made no sense to my besotted 16 year old brain, until I recently read that he had shaved his head for another film role and was forced to wear a wig in the rewritten final scene. 20 years that's been bugging me, people. You're welcome.

Dwight Quote-of-the-Week: "Krentist."
(Dwight's response to Michael's interrogation about the name of Dwight's bogus dentist on "The Office")

I am afraid of sharks. This is not new information. But like many people, I am fascinated by what scares me (horror films, anyone?) and consequently know more about them than any other animal. I recently read a great article by Rob Stewart, the filmmaker behind "Sharkwater", (which I unfortunately missed at this year's film festival) and wanted to share some excerpts:

"Sharks are the oldest large animal we have on the planet. They've existed in harmony with the earth for over 400 million years, shaping species that they prey upon, and in turn much of the oceans. The oceans produce 70 percent of the oxygen in our atmosphere, and destroying the one animal that's managed to survive on earth, in an age where our own longevity on earth is in question, is not a good idea. We can learn a lot from sharks, but we ignore them because we're afraid of them.

One hundred million sharks are caught each year, mostly due to the growing demand for shark fin soup. Poachers cut off the fins and dump the bodies overboard still alive. Though many countries have banned shark finning, millions of sharks are illegally harvested each year.

They're not dangerous. They're not mindless killers. They don't eat people and I think as long as people view them as dangerous predators, people aren't going to care about them. They're not going to want them to survive on the planet.
I hope that it starts reversing the way the media has portrayed sharks and gives people the infomration they need to make better decisions to say "Okay, I'm not going to be afraid of that," or "I'm not going to listen to this headline." In order for humans to survive on this planet, to have such an irrational fear of sharks is not a good thing.
The other thing is that we've been on this thousand-year trend of destruction. It hasn't been cool to conserve or promote sustainable use of the environment and the oceans. But I think people are going to start realizing that if we're going to survive on this plant as a species, we need to conserve it and protect it. Conservation is becoming cool." (fr. Tribute magazine)

Watch for "Sharkwater" on DVD and another great book on this topic is "Shark Trouble" by Peter Benchley (author of Jaws).

Does this make me a seahugger...?

Turkey Day

I am thankful for many things. For the lemon-lime leaves dancing in the sunshine and wind outside my window right now, the fact that I'm listening to old mixed tapes that my sister loves to mock, on a borrowed boombox from my lovely BFF, and BSG is back. Am I a nerd? Yes. But I embrace it...and it may come in handy on stage sometime. I have a new job which is a 15 minute walk from my place and I'm taking a self-defense class, for which I need suckers, er, helpers, to practice on, if anyone's overconfident, er, interested. I have wonderful friends, 4 beautiful, inquisitive, sharp-as-a-whip nieces who make me very proud, an adorably mischievious sister-in-law, dryly clever brother, and a sister who always makes me laugh, reminiscing about the questionable games we played with our housepets as children. I am blessed with a father who respects my independence but still has my back when I need him and a mother who amuses me with her eternal stubborness and inspires me with her courage. I am happy to sometimes be wrong about people and what I perceive as my own weaknesses and to discover that I can still surprise myself.

Right now, in this moment, I am indeed a charmed being.

Tree Looks Like A Lady

"Lots of people say that they fall in love in the spring. Not me. I always fell in love in the autumn.It is just the most romantic... sexy... desperate [time]..." (- Space Above and Beyond)

I love autumn. I'm sure there are people in the world who do not have an affinity for the season into which they were born, but I'm not one of them. Summer is easy to love and winter easy to hate, but spring and autumn...that's when all the interesting stuff happens. When I was little my mom told me that the leaves changing colour was Mother Nature "changing her dress". That's quite the wardrobe you've got there, lady.

Here, I made a haiku about it:

Mother of Nature,
you make dying foliage
so very chic

School has begun again, Halloween is around the corner, and there's a distinctive crispness to the air that I love. And this is, hands down, the best season for fashion. Change is in the air, and possibilities...for learning new things, taking new chances, and coming up with a truly original Halloween costume. And though Calgary's autumn is brief and mostly shades of yellow, I'll take whatever I can get.

But I still miss red.

World Trade Center

World Trade Center was directed by Oliver Stone. I am not a fan of Mr. Stone, but I believe he got it right this time. Considering that most of us watched the surreal events of September 11th, 2001 on our televisions and never got much closer than that, to see that day from the perspective of the emergency personnel who were called to the scene almost immediately was riveting. And terrifying. As that day progressed, the facts started seeping in - not an accident.. terrorism..chaos..and who would do this and why? To see several of these policemen rush into the second tower, unaware of what was literally happening directly above them is astounding and chilling. Nicolas Cage was wonderfully understated as one of the trapped men and Maggie Gyllenhaal was heart-wrenching as a pregnant wife and mother torn between grief and desperate hope. Considering the pedigree of its director, this film really surprised me. Instead of being political and preachy, it focused more on the strong brotherhood/sisterhood that exists between the brave souls who serve as firemen, policemen, and paramedics and the importance of family, loyalty, and taking nothing for granted. In the midst of unspeakable destruction and hopelessness, we still reach for one another in the dark. ****

The Dark Knights

When I was 16-going-on-17, unlike my Sound of Music counterpart Leisel, I wasn't dancing around in rainy gazebos with my Nazi-wannabe boyfriend, but I sure did like them. Boys, that is. Not Nazis. Especially bad ones, or in this case, lost ones. I distinctly remember sitting in a dark movie theatre with several of my girlfriends, watching Jason Patric, Keifer Sutherland, and the other Lost Boys and I was mesmerized. I mean, I'd witnessed male beauty before. Andrew McCarthy in Pretty in Pink and Duran Duran had taken care of that. But this was different. The bad guys were just as compelling and sexy as the good guys, maybe even more... Plus, they were vampires, which I've touched upon before:

Vampires are cool. Forget the translucent skin, dire need for a tanning bed, and somewhat confusing ‘undead’ status for a moment and think about it. And just to clarify, we’re talking about the seductive vampires here, like Chris Sarandon in Fright Night, Stuart Townsend in Queen of the Damned, and Gerard Butler in Dracula 2000, not the bald, nasty bat-like things they turn into if you pour too much holy water on them, or the Nosferatu type. {shudder} Definitely not that kind. I’m talking about the graceful, cat-like, sense-enhanced kind, who wear dark clothes and pay a lot of attention to your neckline. Maybe that’s it, the whole neck thing - I mean, isn’t the vampire’s ‘kiss’ really just the mother of all hickeys? I don’t know about you, but I can think of a lot worse ways to go than having a gorgeous stranger go to town on my neck for an indefinite amount of time. There’s also the enhanced strength, hypnotic and telepathic abilities, and let’s be honest, these people know how to dress. Silk and velvet, flowing cloaks, scarlet lips, and classic black all around – elegant and sophisticated. It’s not just the bad lighting that keeps them out of Wal-Mart. And they’re smart, too. Think about it – they stay out of the sun and they’re immortal – coincidence? I think not. Their aversion to garlic implies that oral hygiene is a priority, and the fact that they can look so good without ever having to check in a mirror is well, impressive, to say the least. And from all the films and books that have been dedicated to them, I’m guessing that I’m not alone in my observations, either.

So when I heard recently that they had cast Heath Ledger as The Joker, Aaron Eckhart as Harvey Dent/Two-Face, along with the ever-so-lovely Christian Bale as Batman in the next Caped Crusader film, I smiled to myself. Because 20 years later, the fight between the good guys and the bad guys rages on. And I just hate choosing sides, don’t you…?

Rock Stars

For anyone else who finds themselves somewhat addicted to Rock Star: Supernova, here's how I'm presently ranking the final 7 (in decreasing order of suckiness):

7) Patrice - has a decent voice but I find her bland and generally unenthusiastic - hope she goes home next

6) Toby - Aussie with good pipes but doesn't seem to be as hungry for the gig as the others and there's nothing that really stands out about him to me

5) Storm - beautiful, kick-ass name, versatile performer, very supportive of her fellow competitors and strong pipes, but may not be strong enough to take it all the way (plus, Tommy Lee hits on her all the time, which isn't a good sign..)

4) Ryan - from NYC, green eyes, keeps surprising everyone, but not sure if his voice is the best fit for this particular band

3) Lukas - the only Canadian left, can pull the eye make-up thing off (like goatees, not for everyone), has the swagger and stands out, but keeps reverting to his scratchy/raspy voice, not the hidden one he blew everyone away with during his rendition of 'Creep' by Radiohead

2) Dilana - South African, pink-streaked locks, and a voice you could light a match on - if they're going to choose a female lead singer, it'll be her

1) Magni - green-eyed Icelandic contender who gave me chills with his version of Live's 'The Dolphins Cry' and has the best range of all the guys (in my opinion) - plus he has all of Iceland (and me!) behind him

Stay tuned.

Teenage Confessions

I don't think I will ever outgrow my penchant for teen love comedies, especially those based (sometimes ever-so-loosely) on Shakespeare's works and I'm not exactly sure why. It might be because they represent a time in our lives that we all still recall fondly for the most part - on the cusp of adulthood, yet still innocent in spite of the bravado, piss and vinegar we threw at the rest of the world. Or because getting good grades and the possibility of landing a date with that dreamboy/girl was what fueled most of our waking thoughts. There's a strange comfort in revisiting a time that felt so angst-ridden and full of high drama! at the time, when we look back with the 'wisdom' of adults and recognize just how earth-shattering things actually weren't. Compared to paying rent, taxes, raising children, and (shudder!) doing your own laundry, they seem pretty carefree, actually. As I recall, anyway.
The female stars of this particular genre also interest me as an aunt to 4 young nieces, as they could potentially influence them in the coming years. (Thanks again, Hollywood) So love 'em or hate 'em, here are the teen queens (in order of relevance):

5) Jessica Simpson - left behind wholesome Christian upbringing to conform to Hollywood ideal, over-controlling manager/dad, failed marriage at the tender age of 25, and more renowned for her cleavage and (put-on?) ditziness than actual talent - tied with Lindsay Lohan for tabloid- fodder potential (oh yeah, take notes, girls!)

4) Keira Knightley - seems fairly grounded all things considered and demonstrated some impressive acting chops in 'Pride & Prejudice', though she swears like a sailor and in spite of denying allegations of an eating disorder, needs to eat a freakin' burger, already!

3) Lindsay Lohan - charismatic redhead with box-office credibility and actual range, yet appears to be sadly pissing away all of her considerable potential on Cristal and excessive partying. (See, Whitney Houston)

2) Hilary Duff - cute girl with a popular TV show, followed by some tween-friendly movies and albums who actually resembled a 'real girl' (complete with invisible braces) until she too joined the Lollipop Head Brigade (when they're so skinny, their heads look like lollipops on a stick because unfortunately, YOU CAN'T LOSE WEIGHT IN YOUR HEAD). Having an older rock star boyfriend with groupies in tow probably adds incentive, too. She's definitely the lesser of evils, though.

1) Amanda Bynes - my favourite because she looks like a girl you could have actually gone to school with; exquisite comic timing and she's smart without being bratty - the Jennifer Aniston of her time. And I'd let her babysit.

Honourable Mention: Alexis Bledel from 'Gilmore Girls' and Amber Tamblyn from 'Joan of Arcadia'

Why I Heart Superman

But first, the latest highlights...I helped stain a porch today and it actually looks prit-ty good, so I now fear that I will become a wood-nerd in addition to the comic-nerd, sci-fi nerd, and cinephile titles that I already hold...Blueberries are still in the lead as my totally-favourite summer fruit, but watermelon is closing in...Gremlins 2 is funnier than I remember (and I dare you to watch Gizmo dance to Fats Domino's 'I'm Ready' and not join in)...my almost-8-yr-old niece, Rylee is addicted to trollz.com and tried to start her own blog the other day before her mom figured out what was going on - yes, nip that in the bud right now before she decodes The Matrix and figures out the truth...the jury's still out on the dancing with long(er) hair vs. dancing with short hair debate - while it feels sexier to flip the tresses around, there's nothing stingray-whipping me in the eyes or getting stuck in my lipgloss now...and this just in: Boys STILL suck! Mostly. ;) Not sucking: the scene on 'Family Guy' in the Poltergeist spoof episode where Stewie covers Phil Collins (I cried), Bryan Singer, whom I want to hug (director of Superman Returns), and Hitler Cats (again with the crying): http://freshpics.blogspot.com/2006/06/hitler-cats_08.html

Now on to Kal-El..

In the 'old days' people actually used to clap at the the end of a film if they'd enjoyed it. I miss that. There have been times when I've braved it and sometimes been joined by more than a few others, which is a particularly heady feeling, not unlike the group euphoria you feel at a really amazing concert. And sometimes what you're watching onscreen is so riveting, so mesmerizing that you simply forget to care. That's what happened to me last Wednesday. I went in not expecting to be disappointed at least, mainly due to the fact that Bryan Singer was directing and he'd already shown me two pretty kick-ass X-Men films. But I was blown away. Truly. 'Animated' doesn't even cover my reactions to this film. I gasped, laughed, clapped, shuddered, made erratic hand motions and most surprisingly, I cried. More than once, in fact. Not only was it more moving than I would have expected from a 'comic-book movie', but it was funny, smart, engaging, and made me wonder. I love that. I even enjoyed Kate Bosworth's Lois Lane and I'm not usually a fan. Kevin Spacey's Lex Luthor and his henchmen were especially hateful and who would've thought a kid from Iowa with a mere soap opera on his resume would prove to so worthily super-sede Christopher Reeve. Wow. Heroes fascinate us. It's why we read comics and always cheer for the good guy. Because he is strong and brave and will always save us..if he can. And let's face it - it's a pretty thankless job most of the time. So, why do we still love Superman after 70-odd years and countless reincarnations? Because sometimes an alien can be more human than any of us.
Superman Returns gets *****

Hello, Wavebabies!

Must-Have Summer Downloads:

'Crazy' - Gnarls Barkley
'Is It Any Wonder?' - Keane
'Edge of the Ocean' - Ivy
'Spooky' - Imogen Heap
'Flawed Design' - Stabilo
'Feel Good Inc.' - Gorillaz
'Sad Eyes' - Josh Rouse
'Beep' - Pussycat Dolls f. Will.i.am
'Crazy' - Alanis Morissette
'Son's Gonna Rise' - Citizen Cope

Quotes of the Week (on marriage):

"My mom's always asking me, 'When will you finally get married?' And I always say, 'When I find a man who has more balls than me.'"
- Salma Hayek

"I've been married five times and people think that's some bizarre thing, and yet I've got buddies who refuse to get married and [have sex with] 15 people a week. I'm like: which is better? At least I'm trying."
- Billy Bob Thornton

Summer TV Obsession: 'Rockstar: Supernova' (Tues/Wed night on CBS) - Slash is going to be a guest-judge. 'Nuff said.

Random Quote #1:

"If you didn't have adult-onset diabetes, I wouldn't mind giving you a little sugar."
- Gob flirting with the elderly on Arrested Development

Best Song Title: 'Not If You Were The Last Junkie On Earth' (by The Dandy Warhols)

Embarrassing Song I Love: 'What's Left of Me' - Nick Lachey

Random Quote #2:

"'Straight Up', and I would sing it right to Paula Abdul."
- Kathy Griffin, when asked what her American Idol audition song would be

'Celebrities' Who Gross Me Out: Uncle Kracker, the creepy female comm. officer on Battlestar Galactica and the Cryptkeeper

What the he--..?
(letters submitted to TV Guide in answer to what readers' favourite car from a TV series would be)

"One hundred percent, without a doubt, I would much rather drive Knight Rider's KITT car than the General Lee. KITT was Michael's best friend. The car took care of Michael and cared what happened to him. And it was always there for Michael. If I could drive KITT, I just know the car would be there for me too! General Lee is just an orange car, and one that you can't even open the doors!"
- Angela C. Wong, Nanaimo, BC

"I am 26 years old now, but when I was four I had a General Lee pedal car with sound effects. I used to drive it up and down the sidewalk from morning til bedtime. I would honk my "Dixie" horn, and the neighbours would come out and put cookies in my trunk. Thanks for the memories, TV Guide."
- Jeff Murray, St. Catharines, ON

Summer Movie Reviews:

Mission: Impossible 3 - I tend to follow directors as often as I do actors, so I was willing to follow the man who brought me Felicity and Alias because he hasn't disappointed me yet. The action scenes were great, especially the airborne windmill scene, and Maggie Q and Jonathan Rhys-Myers are lovely eye-candy. And is Mr. Cruise a nutbar in real life? Most probably, but I still enjoy watching him on screen. His forearms get **** and the movie gets ***.

Stick It - From the director of Bring It On, which exceeded my low expectations unbelievably, comes this equally fun and silly feel-good pile of fluffy gymnastic goodness. Jeff Bridges plays the coach and I for one have missed him. I laughed out loud, I grooved in my seat and I cheered - and that my friends, is what summer is all about. ***1/2

The Da Vinci Code - For starters, I didn't read the book. And I could care less. The film was a bit confusing and convoluted at first, but I caught on. The main draw for me was Paul Bettany, whom I would watch in just about anything, as the albino monk, Silas. Prior to seeing the film, I dreamt I was hanging out with the cast and Bettany's real-life wife, Jennifer Connelly. They were both very gracious and warm, while Tom Hanks was quite aloof and unimpressive. Perhaps this influenced my decision, as I found myself not-as-impressed-as-usual with the usually constant Mr. Hanks. Though in all fairness, his hair wasn't that bad. I didn't find it offensive or controversial at all, merely interesting. In spite of a religious upbringing (or perhaps because of it), I always find myself fascinated by the theological beliefs and theories of others and this brought up some spiritual food for thought. The Catholic-baiters get **1/2

X-Men: The Last Stand - As a comic geek, I was really looking forward to this one - the previous films were exceptional, but they were also helmed by Bryan Singer (whose Superman Returns is getting great buzz) and I should've known that a director whose resume includes the Rush Hour films would probably have his head pretty far up his a--. There were some cool special effects, yes. Kelsey Grammer as Beast was fun to watch, yes. And I enjoyed the always-surprising Ben Foster as Angel, though he was barely in it. And no Gambit - what the ----?? Now, I could sit here here and regale you with all of the bits of X-Men lore that Brett Ratner totally ignored or screwed up, or I could just let a fellow geek speak for me: http://www.aintitcool.com/display.cgi?id=23420
Ratner's pile of steaming super-poo gets **

Nacho Libre - There were funny parts and silly parts and a definite Napoleon-vibe (love the 70s sweater-shirts!), but overall, it felt like Jack Black was holding back and not being, well, Jack Black. And when you're that endearingly zany and maniacal, it's a crying shame. **1/2

That's all for now. Eat all your watermelon, kids!